I need a place to vent feelings, I've been needing it for sometime now but I haven't been able to find the right Place where I will be heard but my family wouldn't know, that used to be my YouTube but then my brother subscribed to me so now I have know where.
I feels as if the devil is on my shoulder, tempting me to things i promise my self I would never do. Everything is all over the place and I still can't deal with my friends self harming. It's tearing me appart when I here they've done it again, or show me the cuts! In side I'm being destroyed by built up anger, fear and depression. Its so tempting to start self harm, but I'm holding back, I can't do that to my friends. I feel as if I'm the only strong person they have to count on. It I go down that road, I can't imagen what would happen. Sometimes I just want to leave the house, walk to some random feild and stay there all night, get away from life for a few hours. Everything seems hard now, just waking up in the morning is a struggle. I hate it. I hate feeling helpless, I just want it to stop, all of it. It's killing me. So much to think about, so much to watch out for, so much to do. I just can't handle it. Eom even finding it hard to find inspiration to move forward in music, something that used to come naturally. I'm in a dark pit of my life. It seems that curling up and blanking everything is the only easy way to get through it but I just can't do it.
I can't really talk, my life is know where near as bad as some people's, infact it's not bad at all. Some people would envy my life I have family and friends who love me. I have everything I need but yet I feel so alone, more alone than ever!
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